“Children see everything. The question is — what do they understand”
We, adults, often pretend that everything is under control. We smile when we’re anxious inside. We change the subject when the question hangs in the air: “What was that?” And children — they see. They see how our voice changes when the siren starts. How our palm tightens when we lead them to shelter. How we glance at the sky when we hear a sound that wasn’t there before.
Children see everything. But they don’t understand everything. And the scariest part — they fill in the gaps themselves! A child’s imagination is powerful. If it’s not supported with words, it can paint pictures worse than reality. That’s why talking about air raid alerts is not scary. What’s scary — is silence.
Truth in a child-friendly way is better than an adult lie
“It’s just loud music.” “It’s a signal that it’s going to rain soon.” “It’s nothing serious.” — We want to protect. But lies don’t protect. They undermine trust.
A child might believe the first time. But when they realize they’ve been deceived — the next time they won’t listen. And at the most important moment, they might not take the signal seriously. Honesty doesn’t mean “the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” It means — adapting information to their age. Explaining in a way that’s understandable. Without details that frighten. But with trust.
How to explain to a child what an air raid alert is
For children under 5: “This is a signal that warns people that something is flying in the sky, and we need to hide for a while. It doesn’t mean that something bad will happen — just better to be careful. Like when we hide under an umbrella from the rain.”
For children 6-9 years old: “An air raid alert is a signal that helps us stay safe. There are people who watch the sky and, if they see something dangerous, give a command to turn on the siren. It’s like a speed game — whoever hides first is a winner. And you and I will always be together and make it in time.”
For teenagers: “This is a system created for our protection. The enemy sometimes launches missiles or drones, and so that we can hide in time, the siren works. It doesn’t always mean there will be an explosion — sometimes the threat passes. But it’s like a seat belt in a car — better to buckle up than to regret later.”
Of course, these are just examples. You know your child better than anyone and can choose the exact words they need.
What to do during a siren — together with a child
If a child hears a siren and sees that an adult is nervous, running chaotically, silent, or swearing — they become even more frightened. Key advice: make this moment a calm ritual. Yes, it sounds strange. But routine is what gives children a sense of security. Even in a critical moment.
- Give water — a sip reduces physical anxiety.
- Take a “bravery bag” — it can contain a favorite toy, flashlight, book.
- Speak softly, in short phrases: “We’re together. We’re safe. I’m with you.”
- Hug. Hold hands. Touch is the strongest means of calming.
Exercises and life hacks from psychologists
- “Siren is a signal” game Suggest that the child imagine themselves as a hero who is training to act quickly. The siren is a “call to play.” The task is to gather quickly, hide calmly and… defeat fear.
- Drawing “my safe space” Together, draw a shelter where the child feels calm. Add favorite things. Then explain that during an alert, they are “moving into this room.”
- Role-playing “I am a rescuer” Switch roles: let the child “protect” toys or even you. This creates a sense of strength, not victimhood.
- “Bravery bag” Together with the child, gather a small backpack with things they’ll take to the shelter. Important: they should choose themselves. This gives control — and therefore, calmness.
How to explain that this is part of civil protection, not “war falling on your head”
Children need to know that they’re not to blame for this. That there is a system. There are adults. There is a country that protects. An air raid alert is not about fear. It’s about care.
“There are special people who watch the sky. Like firefighters — only in the sky. If they see something dangerous, they give a signal. It’s not scary, it’s smart. It means — they want to protect us.”
This is how trust is formed. Trust in you. Trust in the system. And trust in the country where the child is growing up.
A child should not live in fear, they should know what to do
We can’t remove war from a child’s life. But we can add clarity, trust, and predictability to this life.
An air raid alert is not a sentence. It’s a moment in which the child should see: I’m not alone. I haven’t been abandoned. Adults are calm. I’m safe.
Start with one sentence.
Add a simple ritual. Hug.
And be there — not just physically, but with words.
